I have had a wonderful relationship with Mistress Marquesa for several years now.
I am sure many of you know what I mean when I say that it is wonderful to see the Mistress in person.

It is so good to play with her in person, but is it just play? Of course the fantasy, that brings me back, is one in which I fantasize about being under Mistress’s total control.
It seems so real when I am with her. Then I go home and the fantasy fades until I reach a point where my need is so acute that I have to see her again.

Because she has so much control when I see her, and less when I do not, I have always thought that what we were doing is playing.
When Mistress found out that I was not using her files, she issued a challenge (command) for me to listen each day for a month.
Of course being a male I realized that I would need several files so that I could fulfill my need for new experiences.

I think it has been a couple of weeks now that I have been listening to files daily. I started with one a day, but when I can responsibly do so I will listen to multiple files in day.
The experience has been amazing.
First off, I became aware of just how much influence the Mistress has had over me. She often says that I have been, and always will be her slave. Now I know what she means.
I heard things in the files that made me realize that I have been begging her for years to do things that I thought were my own ideas, yet now I am not so sure.
She really has been programing, and brain washing me for years. It is amazing how patient she has been with me as I slowly but surely made progress.
Year after year I kept questioning in my mind what she was doing, rather than simply giving in and giving up.

But things have really changed. I have always wanted to obey, but I have always considered carefully what was being asked of me before I took an action.
I would profess undying obedience and then do what I wanted. I believed when I was with Mistress that I would obey her without question. I had an ever growing need to obey.
Now I know the need was being placed in my mind by Mistress.
Hypnosis is real and so was my need to obey, but as the days past between my sessions the power of the hypnotic suggestions weakened. Here is the thing if you really want to be enslaved the key is repetition. I know you knew that, if you are anything like me, but the world of troubles and cares always interfered with my training.

Mistress only has so much time in a day, and if I really want her to have the kind of control I crave, than I have to be continually and constantly placed in trance, and in trance I need constant brainwashing. The experience of becoming addicted to the files is a new one for me, so I do not know if it will last forever.
At this point in time I am never more than a trigger away from falling into a very very deep trance.
I have to be honest this freaks me out a little. However I not sure how I feel about it matter anymore. It’s so hard to imagine disobeying her. I will keep you posted on the progress of the experiment that is more than an experiment!