“Wake up sleeping beauty!” she said.

He quickly pulled his head from the velvet cushion on the large sofa and rubbed his eyes. His fellow fan of film noir and vintage horror sat across from him in what he knew to be the Magic Lantern Club. He knew all about this classic cinema palace even though he had never been there. She had booked it and promised to take him. He must have dozed off . He dimly remembered a chauffeured limo drive , some movement, and again-sleep.

“Got some work to do with these, hon. Celluloid surprises that have probably done the rounds of every flea-pit and grind-house in the land. They’re all digitally remastered onto DVD. And we get to categorize all of em!”

He groaned.

“Oh don’t take on so honey” she cooed. “You might like em. We got-let me see “DOCTOR DIABLO’s CHAMBER OF CARNAGE”. We got an early exploration into semi “Adult” movies here “CONDOM CARNIVORES”” She put on a booming voice-” A hidden nuclear accident brings to life these latex fiends that suck the flesh of their unsuspecting users dry”! Or you could try “THE MAN-DOMINA STRAIN” “An unstoppable virus from a planet of ruthless female supremacists infects females turning them into vicious, vinyl-clad vixens hell-bent on world domination.”

she continued.. “We’ve even got “DONGA”” Now she put on another faux booming voice. “After Kong’s death scientists dissected his reproductive organ-a freak nuclear accident brings it to life! it just keeps getting bigger and craves revenge as its only satisfaction!”-jeez, nuclear accidents sure have a lot to answer for baby!” she smirked.

By this time he was doubled up with laughter.

“Oh but I think we’ll start with this one” she said. “THE LAIR OF LADY LANGUORIE” “An Evil, Irresistible Lady Hypnotist plans to enslave all men with Her hypnotic power assisted by a pacifying perfume.” “SEE HER LURE UNSUSPECTING MEN TO A LAND OF DREAMY DRUDGERY WITH HER VAPOURS OF SILKEN ENTRANCEMENT!” This seems right up your street, darlin!!”

Before he could say anything, she flipped the DVD into the player. The usual introductory music began followed by the “Quinn Martin Production” type voice circa programmes like “The Untouchables” “The Invaders” and “The Naked City”. After this, without warning a box came up saying…


“Sorry hon, didn’t tell you. We’ve only got a few clips from this one. But I know you have a penchant for messssmerisssm.”

He didn’t care too much that he couldn’t see the whole thing. He was already fascinated by this unusual movie as the clip concerned came up.

The lady he saw before him was clearly Lady Languorie. In all these films the light seemed to come from the floor upwards. It accentuated the stern, calculating, yet alluring look in her eyes. Suddenly a man burst in.

“Maaaam , maaaam, ” he said anxiously “the new man suspects. I know he suspects. How can we go on with this project? I beg you, Maaaam, stop this now”

“Calm yourself, carruthers!” she snapped in that borderline accent between English Rose and American sophistication that characterised actresses of this era, like Hilary Brooke, Gale Sondergaard and Myrna Loy-all at some point playing feminine hypnotists.

She pressed a buzzer on her desk. “Please send Mistress Dormira in. mr. carruthers is displaying signs of hysteria again.”

” But I am not, Maaaam. I am not!” said carruthers.

Suddenly a young blonde lady clad in a leather blouson and split leather skirt entered. She also wore leather gloves. She immediately placed her arms around carruthers’ neck and drew his attention to a glittering diamond choker around her neck. Softly she rocked his head from side to side.

“Calm, mr. carruthers, sweet calm. Just look at the crystal, mr. carruthers. The soothing, calming crystal is all-important. Don’t you remember? This is the crystal from the nursery, mr. carruthers. The nursery where tired, little men like you can rest. Resst your tiring eyes on the crystal from your timelessness in the dreamy dreamland of the dreamier nursery. you are ssso tired, My little baby carruthers. So tired of trying in vain to think of anything except restfulness and sleeeeeeep. Sso fractious, yet wanting to ressssssst. Resst that only a sweet, leather lullaby can bring you. Don’t you remember how much you simply adore a sweet, leather lullaby? Just resst mr. carruthers. You need so much to sleeep. Just to succumb, surrender, and submit your drowsier self to sleep! sleep!! sleeeeeeep!!!“`”

As She ever so gently rocked his shoulders, he gradually collapsed into a nearby chair. his face fell into the leather-clad, shiny long skirted thighs of mistress Dormira.

“he is at rest my Lady. What would you like me to do next? She whispered.

Suddenly watching the screen he became fully aware of Lady Languorie’s presence…

She wore a soft feathered hat and a long, strict-looking, one-piece, silk and satin dress. The satin was as soft and shiny as charmeuse. The skirt hugging Her shapely hips was buttoned at the side split by a myriad of diamond-facetted buttons. Around Her neck was a diamond pendant that even in black and white seemed to split light into a thousand incandescent scintillas. Her diamond earrings did the same. She was a Goddess to him. he felt a stirring of arousal as visual and aural stimuli combined in captivating his consciousness.

“Take him to Our lair” she said. “A spell in the playpen of punishment followed by another in the crib of conditioning should do it.”

Scary music and a “Yes Maaaam” from Mistress dormira “….and tell the new man he is to take a little ride. One of Our mesmerism-induced drivers will do it. But the new pet seems quite strong. Who is he?”

“his name is mr. red hunghorse, Maaaam” said Mistress Dormira.

“Well We shall have to administer a little soporific into the strong coffee We shall offer him to keep him-say “Alert” during his long journey with Me to our destination is his ultimate devotion to Our Feminine cause.”

The scene cut next to “red hunghorse” and Lady Languorie in the sort of old car with a running board alongside. But the usual hammy image in the back screen seemed more real than usual. And red’s eyes were blanked out .

“You seem tired mr. hunghorse” said Lady Languorie. “I always find that this car with it’s softly purring engine and gentle suspension has such a lulling quality. Such a soothing quality of sound and relaxing motion, don’t you think? The engine’s quieting hum is like such a sweet voice whispering shhhhhhhh, shhhhhhhhhhh, shhhhhhhh.”

“Yuh Yessssss, Lady Languorie” said mr. hunghorse.

“Oh, but you don’t have to pretend, red. you’re sooooooo tiring as each rest-filled moment quietly rolls on ever so soothingly. The car and the soft shhhhhh of the engine are sooo sooooooothing us even more so–isn’t it? Just combine this with the diamonds on My neck and My softly swaying, scintillating, yet soothing earrings. And I am sure you are quite tired. you are tired, red. Sooooooo tired and coming closer to drowsiness. you feel like you must gooooooo to sleep, red. Gooooooo to sleeeeeeep. Look at you, mr. sleeeeeeepy-head. your head is lolling around looking for a place of resssst. Drowsily dreaming only of quieting, sweet, and peacefully pacifying ressstfulness. Busy strong men long for ressst, red. you are strong only because you want to impress oh so soothing you Ladies like Me. But We understand. We see the sleepy, sleeeeeeepy child longing to be nursed. Only desiring to be lulled into sleeeeeeepiness increasing every second slowly slowing down for beddy bye time. To be soothed feels oh so goodnight My sleepy red. All is ready for you to be languorously lulled into silken sleepy surrender. And yesss! you have seen my peacefully restful shoulder. The silken-clad outline of My breast seems perfectly moulded for your head to resst against. you long for the soft yet alluring touch of my satin gloved fingers on your neck gently Pulling your drowsier head dreamily towards the breast of silken, satin, dreamy sleeeeeeep. Sleeeeeeep now. Sleeeeeeep, red!! Sleepy, sleepier, sleeping, sleepiness, sleeeeeeep!!!“`”

he watched red’s head contentedly nestle against Lady Languorie’s Breast. And he didn’t miss a second of seeing Her evil, triumphant, yet somehow nurturing expression as red’s head slipped into her silken lap.

Lady Languorie suddenly pulled out what looked like a perfume bottle. As She held it under red’s nose, she repeated this rhyme….

“Hush, My baby, sweetly rest.
Mesmerized by My silk, satin breast.
Hush little darling not a peep.
Just gently breathe the vapours of sleep.

“Hush sweet darling free of all hurt.
Slumbering deep on My soft, satin skirt.
The vapours of slumber carry you away,
And when you wake, you will simply obey.

“Lady Languorie is all that you seek,
you know this and need this in sweet, restful sleep.
Lady Languorie’s world is your life.
Forget past years and trouble and strife.

“your devotion and servitude are so enhanced,
Increasing with every moment entranced.
Just breathe the sweet vapours and gently sleep
your devotion to Me is complete and deep.”

As he watched the man on the screen, he too felt suddenly unable to keep his eyes open.

At this stage he became aware of a soft, satin, female presence behind him.

“Another one fooled,” she said. “Another inadvertent subject for Our Female multimedia domination of the world.”

Groggily he realised what had happened as he saw the Lady’s face. She was Lady Languorie: but real, in the oh so lascivious flesh, in living colour, and in full satin splendour. More to the point of increasingly enchanting him, She was bringing Her perfume bottle close to his nose… She repeated the lullaby rhyme in a sultry voice that relaxed his entire body, made his toes curl, and enlarged and elongated something of his which was now especially spectacular. With all this stimulation, of course he fell fast asleep as a sign of his succumbing, surrendering, and submitting to Her will.

“he should go to the crib of conditioning. But looking at how mr. hunghorse is actually hung I think a session in the Playpen of Pleasure is absolutely appropriate first.”