{"id":1466,"date":"2013-09-03T16:34:13","date_gmt":"2013-09-03T16:34:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/?p=1466"},"modified":"2013-09-03T16:34:33","modified_gmt":"2013-09-03T16:34:33","slug":"horny-toad-a-good-joke","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/horny-toad-a-good-joke\/","title":{"rendered":"Horny toad & a good joke"},"content":{"rendered":"
Posted by Goddess Marquesa<\/a> June 13, 2012<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n

\"index\"<\/a>Today I am going to educate you and also make you smile.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Say, “Thank You, Mistress Marquesa” 10 times. Very good. <\/strong><\/p>\n

“Things aren’t always as they appear. For example, a horned toad is a reptile not an amphibian and on the head of a “horned lizard” you’ll see spines, not horns.<\/p>\n

“Speaking of horny, a good joke (like the one below) always gets My juices flowing.<\/p>\n

A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”
\n“No more headaches?” the husband asks, “What happened?”
\nHis wife replies, “Krystal referred me to a hypnotist.<\/p>\n

The hypnotist told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat ‘I do not have a headache. I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.’ It worked! The headaches are all gone.”
\nThe husband replies, “Well, that is wonderful.”<\/p>\n

His wife then says, “You know, you haven’t been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don’t you go see the hypnotist and see if she can do anything for that?”
\nThe husband agrees to try it.<\/p>\n

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”
\nHe goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, “Boy, that was wonderful!”
\nThe husband says, “Don’t move! I will be right back.”
\nHe goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning.<\/p>\n

Her husband again says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.” With that, he goes back in the bathroom.<\/p>\n

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,<\/p>\n

“She’s not my wife. She’s not my wife. She’s not my wife!”<\/p>\n

His funeral services will be held on Monday.<\/p>\n

“”Heeheeheehee!” Till next time you fall further for Me. “Surrender to Marquesa,” My little hypno-horny toad!<\/p>\n

If you have any good hypno related jokes to share\u00a0 I’d truly enjoy reading them!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Posted by Goddess Marquesa June 13, 2012 Today I am going to educate you and also make you smile. Say, “Thank You, Mistress Marquesa” 10 times. Very good. “Things aren’t always as they appear. For example, a horned toad is a reptile not an amphibian and on the head of a “horned lizard” you’ll see […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[45,46],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diary","category-goddess-marquesa"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2FCuA-nE","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1466","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1466"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1466\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1468,"href":"https:\/\/hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1466\/revisions\/1468"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hypno-erotica.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}