by hamilton
” What first comes to my mind for this CD is Your sweet voice saying ‘Surrender’ and ‘Yes’ – so delightfully inviting, spoken so lovingly and reasonably, it does make it so simple for me to do, so that now at any time i can almost hear Your voice saying these words. i feel an easing of anxiety and tension all through my body as i fully accept the new understanding that you are asking so little of me, just to obey, nothing more.
This is wonderful because i needn’t think at all; i need no more intelligence than a dog, a pet that need only listen and obey the voice of reason. What is being asked of me is not complicated and should not be difficult if my devotion is real. But i must admit i still doubt my capacity for complete sexual surrender: Is it really possible for me to arrive at the point where You are truly in complete control of all my sexual desires?
i feel the only way this can happen is for me to become truly deeply hypnotized by You, and, as i listen to the tape, part of me does worry if i am going into a deep enough trance. i visualize the ball of white light (i love the way You say the word ‘ball’) and i do feel the different parts of my body relaxing, but i do not actually feel the warmth of the light, so i worry i am not fully executing what Your voice is saying.
Still, when your voice says…………….. ‘Good’ or some other expression of approval, my feelings melt and i feel a thrill of butterflies in my stomach, a sort of tingling and weakness. And i do feel that pleasing You mean so very very much to me. But i also worry whether i truly can please Mistress in the future when and if She asks more of me; Even thinking now about listening to this CD i feel so relaxed and comfortably restful. It also seems to me that some of my best progress is made hours after listening to the tape, during moments of dreamy reflection when i recall your voice saying various things and then my mind’s voice (i cannot say whether it is my voice or Your voice) elaborates on these truths to help me better appreciate how logical and right they are. And the more i feel my agreement, my genuine desire to agree and accept Your words, the more i feel the very act of agreement as a palpable, bodily pleasure.
Moreover, repeated listenings are strengthening and deepening my sexual submission as i visualize more clearly and feel more powerfully the swirling soft white light moving through my body, relaxing me and covering me like a warm blanket of Your control. Now there are moments when You speak in me when i experience Your voice as a rich sweet substance that enters my flesh and penetrates my heart.
And i can also feel as a tangible power, like liquid gold coming onto my skin, when i imagine your beautiful fingers caressing and petting me in different places. But the single line that evokes the deepest response in me is when you explain that your voice always speaks the Truth. Your voice in me is Truth. i feel myself, my mind, consumed by the magnificent power of this idea. i am left wishing so fervently that i may reach the point where i have no doubt but automatically take whatever the Goddess says to be the Truth. i know i only have a vague intimation of what great pleasure i may come to feel each time you grant me the opportunity to obey.”
The End.
