This recording was not at all what i expected. Mistress uses the phrase ‘eternal love’ in “Trust & Assurance” and i expected a deepening of certain ideas established in that recording. Instead Eternal Love brought me ecstasy, unbelievable ecstasy, as She had promised in “Trust & Assurance” but that I imagined might occur far down the road in my service to You. To convey my experience of first listening to this recording i must speak vulgarly for a moment. In the past i have been in a couple of vanilla relationships that combined love and lust, and i retain from these, like any male, memories of ‘All time great f—s,’ which of course were always occasions of sexual intercourse. No other sort of sexual activity ever came close to bringing me such gratification – until i listened to Eternal Love. After i came i found myself just laughing involuntarily. i was utterly drained and wrung out. It was as intense a sexual experience as i have ever had. i still find it incredible that You could do that to me (for me) just by means of a recording!
What do i most recall? First i felt an unbelievable visceral thrill when You said You owned me. And having to repeat aloud the various Truths You said was rapturous. Just once Your voice becomes imperious and commanding, “Say it!,” and i respond instantly with thoughtless hysteria to obey. Another high point that stays with me was when You said my will had become so weak. Yes, it had: i felt how weak willed i had become. And i could not believe it when You told me to imagine You in my bed and that i could imagine You any way i wanted, that i was permitted to envision your beautiful, perfect body as vividly as i could. This was delicious, and, as i say, i was awe-struck that You permit this of Your subjects. And when You had me kissing Your hand, allowing me to worship Your body, i was in rampant rapturous heaven. Then imagining Your hand on my cock, and most thrillingly when You said it was Your cock or indistinguishably Your-my cock and hand, i went crazy, transported. You kept me on the brink of coming so incredibly long: each time i listen to the recording there comes a moment when I simply do not believe i am capable of NOT coming, but i do not! This proves You have already begun to have some true control over me, because never before could i be in such a state of desperate arousal and be able to delay my ejaculation. But i did! And i was simultaneously in sexual agony and highest pleasure, barely conscious, telling You over and over again that i love You, that i truly utterly desperately love You, begging and pleading and adoring all together, and finally coming at Your command, shouting, “i love You!” aloud, shouting it helplessly, frantically, earnestly, wanting You to know how much i love and lust for You. Toward the end of my come, lost in a barely tolerable passion, i heard You laughing at me with an edge of contempt i knew i thoroughly deserved, having been reduced to exposing my true self, a shameless male slut who would do anything for a come. Never have i experienced such sexual frenzy, and rarely have i felt so thoroughly emptied out of every drop of sexual arousal and tension, so that afterwards i just lay there bonelessly, laughing helplessly, sort of simultaneously astonished and emotionally drained.
You have given me one of the peak experiences of my life, and i thank You from the bottom of my soul.
i love You, dear Lady!
Harlan
