Have you ever wondered why I have been the reigning Queen of the Hypnodommes on the World Wide Web for so many years, pet? Of course you have. Is it the fact that My legs routinely stop traffic? That My tits have reduced grown men to drooling infants? That My penetrating green eyes have enslaved princes and presidents? Well, yes…of course those assets have all contributed. But they would not have been enough.

No, even you for quite some time have understood that your Goddess is not just a pretty face and a smoking hot body. But what is the secret? How is it that I have conquered so widely and ruled with such an iron (though gorgeous and impeccably manicured) hand?

Don’t strain yourself, pet. I won’t let the mystery linger. My beauty, My brilliant mind, My creativity, My talent, My mesmerizing skill- all of them have helped lay the foundation of My empire. But the key to My success has always been my addictive personality.

No…not that kind of “addictive personality.” I am not prone to addiction. My personality, however, is almost always addictive to those who encounter Me.

Addiction to substances or destructive behaviors is no laughing matter, and I would never make light of it. But I can’t help Who and What I am. People who interact with Me find Me fascinating. I make them laugh, I turn them on, I make them think, I unsettle them. Usually all at once. I am funny and serious and thought-provoking and approachable and mysterious, all at the same time. Spending some time with Me (even over the phone, or just listening to a recording) feels so good that you find yourself craving some more. Before long you can’t imagine life without me.

It’s all right, pet. I am a benign addiction. There is a LOT of Me to go around, and I don’t impair motor function (permanently) or leave you with a hangover (usually). So come, indulge- you know you want to. A little taste of Me won’t hurt…..at first…..