I was delighted to get a call from my brother. Well to be accurate he is my non-identical twin. When we were growing up together we were inseparable. As teenagers we began to grow apart somewhat. He was stockier than me and excelled at Rugby, while I preferred Football, or what our American friends would call Soccer. We were both a bit too old to play, but usually we would spend the weekends in front of the TV watching our respective sports. It was summer now. The football and rugby union season were over for another year. We would usually meet up in the summer, and regress back to our student days when we used to drink vast quantities of booze and smoke an unhealthy number of cigarettes.

“Sure I’d love to come over, but I have quite a bit of marking to do.” “OK, well how about you do your marking on Saturday, come down on Saturday evening, and stay the night, and you can stay for Sunday dinner and go back Sunday night.” “OK sounds good to me; see you on Saturday at about 6pm then?”

And so it was arranged. Driving over I was looking forward to the wonderful cooking that his wife did, and plenty of alcohol, laughter and chat. You could always rely on Rob to throw a decent party, even if there was only one guest!

Rob had done very well for himself, and lived in a big house in a city a couple of hour’s drive away. It was funny that he was so close and yet we didn’t see each other much now.

I arrived at his house. He gave me the usual warm handshake and hug. His lovely young wife gave me the usual kiss – but this time full on my lips. A bit friendlier than usual, but I thought nothing of it at the time. There was the usual fine spread of delicious food on the table. But there were a few things missing. There was no smell of stale tobacco, and no ashtrays lying around the place. There was no wine with the meal, just soft drinks and tea. Over the meal Rob explained that he and his wife had started going to this Church and the Church had helped them give up alcohol and cigarettes. Over the year I knew that Rob had tried several times to give up cigarettes, and I was delighted, but extremely surprised that he had in fact done so.

“I hope you are going to come with us to church tomorrow.”
“OK, but I haven’t got any clothes, no suits or anything with me.”
“That is fine, it is very informal, and we tend to go in jeans ourselves.”
“Right, what time is the service?”
“8am, 10.45am and 6.30pm.”
“And which one of those do you go to.”
“All of them.”
I could hardly believe my ears. We had been dragged to church by our bible-bashing mum as kids, but neither of us had worshipped regularly since.

“You will love it mate. It is nothing at all like the church we used to go to as children. We have this wonderful young vicar. She is lovely. It is all very modern, with guitars, you can just relax and enjoy yourself.”

I was intrigued to say the least. I wanted to go to meet this person, but not to join in the service. When we got to the church early next day, I tried to sit at the back, but Rob explained that she liked everyone to sit at the front in the choir stalls at this service. I tried to be away from the centre of things by sitting at the end of the choir stall. Then she appeared. I was not disappointed. She was lovely. She was wearing long black boots, and skin-tight blue jeans which showed off her figure well. She had lovely big brown eyes, and long flowing curly hair which fell down her back. She was also wearing a tight v-necked jumper which showed off her lovely breasts, and a crucifix on a long chain dangled round her neck.

“Good morning everyone, and I see that we have a new member of the congregation.” She turned her gorgeous big brown eyes in my direction. I almost melted under her gaze. She came to me. “Don’t sit there, out of the way, come with me.” She led me to the centre of the choir stall, right in front of the altar, and sat me down there.

“Right and on with the service. Please kneel and close your eyes for the prayers.” I didn’t want to join in the service, so I just sat there, until she saw me and came over and said directly to me “KNEEL AND CLOSE YOUR EYES.” I obeyed.

“Right let us take some nice deep breaths and breathe in the Holy Spirit.” She breathed deeply and the congregation started following her. I knew that she was still standing over me, so I started to do the same. “Breathing in the Holy Spirit and breathing out all our cares and concerns, as we relax and focus on our Lord Jesus. Holy Spirit help us to keep focused on you for the entire length of this service. Help us to open our hearts and minds to you. Melt away any resistance we may have. Fill our hearts and minds with your love as we just relax and feel your love wash over us.”

She had this sweet voice. The smell of the incense was making it hard to think. I almost got the impression that she was hypnotising us, with this technique of making us breathe deeply, relax and focus. Then she leaned over and whispered in my ear.

“Don’t try and analyse what is going on. Just go with it. Accept the Holy Spirit into your life. Just go with it for now, we will have a chat about it later.”

I was surprised again. How on earth did she know I was trying to analyse what was going on. Has she got some sort of telepathic powers or something? She then addressed the whole congregation again.

“Ok open your eyes but remain kneeling for a minute.” I opened my eyes to find her standing in front of me, but with her back to me, as she explained what was coming up in the service. Her lovely round ass was in my face and then she bent over to pick up her guitar for the first song, pushing her lovely round ass further into my face. Then she started strumming her guitar as she led the singing of “Sing Hosanna.” She looked at me and smiled in a very knowing way which was a little disconcerting. Did she know I had been admiring her ass?

She then led the singing, turning slowly, looking at every member of the congregation in turn. When she came to me she looked directly into my eyes and leaned forward and emphasized “Sing Hosanna.” I joined in the singing with more effort. She continued to rotate slowly. I came to look forward to the times she would look into my eyes again. Next she led us together in “Bind us together.” We all raised our hands and held each other’s hands as we sang. Although I had not wanted it, I found myself joining in the service fully. She fascinated me. I couldn’t keep my eyes from her. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She kept repeating the themes of opening our hearts and letting His love in. Then when the communion came, she said “Let us give each other the sign of peace. The young woman next to me grabbed me and kissed me. Not just a peck on the cheek. She thrust her tongue into my mouth and kissed me for minutes. Eventually the vicar tapped her on the shoulder. She wished her peace and kissed her. Then she turned to me and said “Peace Charles” and kissed me on my lips. How did she know my name?

When the service ended, at about 9am, she asked me if it was alright to stay and talk to her for a while. I agreed, I expected a sort of 10 minute chat. She then asked my brother if he was coming to the 10.45am service. He confirmed he was. She then asked if it was ok if I stayed with her until then. Pointing at me, she said to him “I think I need to work on him a little.” I could have sworn I saw her wink at him. She then excused herself for a few minutes while she said “Goodbye” to the rest of the congregation. My brother and his wife were the last to leave. I was going to be alone with this wonderful lady. “Lock the door on your way out please Rob.” That time I saw it clearly. She did wink at him.

She sat down next to me. “We might as well finish off the communion wine.” She said, pouring a couple of glasses and passing me one. She then started asking me questions, all the time looking at me with those wonderful eyes. I felt flattered that she was interested in me. She gradually turned the conversation round to religion. Looking into my eyes and stroking my hair she said “My God is a God of love. He taught us to love everyone, including our enemies. I can see that you are a loving man Charles. Let me lead you to him Charles. Let me share his love with you. With that she leaned over and kissed me again. I was completely wrapped up in her. Soon she was on top of me, making love, and I was giving her everything I could. Eventually I came and lay exhausted on the floor. She cradled my head in her arms, stroking my hair. “You are in love with me Charles. So deeply in love. You will do anything for me. You are in my power. You want to please me. You will obey me. You will let the Lord’s love into your life. You will let me lead you to a happier, healthier way of living. Now just relax for a while.” I just lay there, just absorbing her words.

Then it was time for the next service. The time had passed so quickly. I was a little disappointed at the next service, it was a family service, and there were a lot of children around, and the kissing etc was toned down. The “adult service” at 6.30pm though was wonderful, turning into an orgy at the end.

And that is how it started. The lady who was next to me at the first service soon became my second wife, the vicar marrying us of course. I don’t smoke or drink any more and the money I save I give to the Church. I don’t seem to have any time for Soccer either, but at least I see a lot more of my brother!