Do you remember you first hypno-crush?

Can you remember the first time you realized there was a woman out there who would gladly hypnotize you?

Can you remember the first mp3 you heard? The first sample? The first time you put yourself in a place to be hypnotized?

I was 17 when I discovered erotic hypnosis. I was sharing the family computer and learning quickly how to cover one’s tracks.

I was learning with every mcstory and every sample clip I was downloading then and promptly deleting (while hoping it would work on our first gen IMAC) after a listen, that the fantasy I had inside of me for as long as I can remember was real.

Do you remember that feeling?

Maybe you’re in the middle of that journey yourself.

Maybe you’re just a little too young to be reading this yourself.

Or maybe you’re just remembering what it was like to have that journey yourself.

Sometimes I think about those early days, discovering Inraptured when it was spelled differently and was just a story site.

Or when it was taken over by someone who partnered up with Krystal Mesmer and put some of her stuff up on the site.

Stuff that I could not figure out how to make work on that IMAC, in no small part because I was afraid of downloading anything that could give away my secret fetish, especially on a shared family computer.

I had the same experience with all the sample audio and video content on Krystal’s site too.

Can you imagine just turning 18, finally having a little bit of money and deciding what you were going to spend it on?

A year subscription to was my first erotic hypnosis related purchase. Privatepages was a membership site that had hypnosis themed photo manips.
This was 2000, the Collective as it exists now was a long way away.
Krystal Mesmer used to have a membership site too.
A month subscription was my second purchase.

I was petrified that my online purchases would have a paper bill/proof of purchase that would be mailed to my family home.

Do you get anxious and excited when you wait some a file to download?

Do you anticipate when it is going to be done; can you think of that particular feeling?

Do you remember dial up? I had 28k dial up for a very long time. The videos I downloaded, to be watched then deleted until we got a zip drive attachment, took forever.
This was one of the reasons I didn’t buy any MP3s for a long time.

There would have been nowhere to keep it that wouldn’t run the risk of discovery.

I would sit and wait for a 5-12 minute video to download, the anxiety building, the thrill building.

You might have this feeling sometimes now, when you know you’re going to buy a new file, or you knew you’re going to go home and listen to a file.

It’s all you can want, all you can think about.

All I could think about was Krystal Mesmer.

Krystal’s cleavage in those breast focused videos. Krystal as the sexy teacher, as the sexy powerful woman, me just a young man, me enamored and infatuated with her.

I’m still, I’ve recently discovered, infatuated with her.

Can you imagine those last powerful throws of puberty melding with the wonderful realization of your fantasies coming true?

Can you imagine the feeling of those forces colliding in your mind, dominating your thoughts before you even hear the words surrender, or sleep.

Can you remember that powerful feeling of wonder and want, that need to let go of everything in her voice?


I am not a good subject, but I am getting better.

My first Krystal Mesmer recording was a Touch of Krystal.

When I hear her voice, when she takes me into her class, I am still the same young man, still experiencing my first hypno-crush.

Earlier today I listened to a Touch of Krystal again, and I’m fairly sure I moved past the warm, quiet, passive state for at least 20 minutes. Do you know that feeling? The sense of having fallen asleep, but knowing you weren’t napping?

I’m not a good subject, but Krystal Mesmer has been teaching me to go a little deeper.

When I hear her voice now, my body moves into a very still and quiet place. I listen to her voice and sometimes the triggers slide by, and sometimes I hear a word and the realization that I am responding catches up to me almost as fast as the suggestion itself.


I didn’t realize Goddess Marquesa and Krystal Mesmer were the same person at first.

I think my first Marquesa recording was the now titled Wonderific Surrender.

I’ve been listening to Surrender a lot lately.

I’ll go back-to-back with that and Wet Dream Siren, training myself to be more suggestible, training myself to be a better subject.

I know I’m safe losing 20 minutes of time, I know I’m safe letting go, and you might know what I feel, or you might be able to imagine what I feel.

You might relate to everything I’m saying.

You might dream of everything I’m saying.

You might be looking for this experience, and you might now know that Krystal and Marquesa have a professional clinical background.

You might now know that She knows what we desire.


I’m not a good subject, but I let myself know I’m getting better, because she’s helping me get better.

She answers my questions, and I hardly have to email to ask. Her files tell me what I need to know, what I can expect.

Sometimes I realize I’m not a good enough subject for the files I’ve purchased, but I know that I’m getting closer and it makes me want it more.

Do you ever want more?

Do you know what that’s like to realize you’re not quite at a place where you can let that once and a while place where you’ve gone into the darkness?

Do you wonder why you can sometimes and other times you can just be passive and quiet?

I know the only thing that matters is making the right choices to be a better submissive subject.

I know because it’s right for me, and it’s what She wants.

She wants what I want.

You might know what it’s like to want, maybe you want to think about wanting Krystal.

You might want to think about submitting to Marquesa.

It might be what you’re looking for.

It’s been what I’ve been looking for.

I’ve had some great experiences with some wonderful women, some I’ll never have again but will cherish always, and across all of those experiences I know the truth:

I am not a good subject.

I am not a good submissive.

But I know with Her, I know with my wants and her wants, with my will and her will, I know She will help me get where I want to be.